My Reality - Part 2

My son (who is home from Iraq and out of the Army and dealing with returning to civilian life) - Has left her girlfriend and moved back home with us. This happened last Thursday. On Friday he went to see another girl and by Sunday he was back seeing the other girl. Yes, my boy is a horndog. Anyway - he is still not working and no longer has any money. Therefore in order to not have his credit shot, we will be paying for his car, insurance and cell phone - which is not going to be easy for us. The problem - he seems to be in no hurry whatsoever to get a job. He talked to us about going back to school and was suppose to go and meet with financial aid people about getting his GI money and then registering - but instead he went to his girlfriends Sunday and then decided to come back home late last night. This drives me nuts. The thing with him is he is so ready to fly off the handle for anything. He does not want us in his business and tells us that whenever we try to discuss things with him. But he needs to live with us, needs our money to keep him in his car (which is in my husband's name), it all just sucks. We just have to put our feet down and tell him and hope that instead of leaving again and then coming back like nothing happened he will get off his butt and start making a better life for himself. The war he went through I know it has truly affected his mind, but I can't make him go get the help he needs if he does not want to help himself. He has been home since March and has only attempted to go to the VA once. He doesn't want us to tell him what to do (he is a grown ass man in his words) but he wants us to speak for him, to find him a great job and let him live with us and for him to come and go as he pleases while we foot the bill - I just don't get it. He changes on a dime. There is no telling what we will come home to today - all we can do is stand by what we expect of him which is to either get in school and become a firefighter like he keeps saying he wants to do (which by going to school he will get his GI money and be able to pay his bills) or he needs to get a job and join the rest of us in the real world who have to work to enjoy our life - that or he needs to win the freaking lotto and take care of us all. I love him with all my heart but he just doesn't get that in the real world - great paying jobs don't fall out of the sky - you bills don't just get paid and money does not grow on trees. I did not raise him to be this way - but now I question myself everyday as to what I may have done wrong in both their lives (my daughter's too). By their age, I was working, married and had both of them. They have no idea how easy their lives are and could continue to be if they would just apply themselves a little. Maybe I ask to much of them? Maybe I gave them too much when they were little and so now they just expect it when they are older. It is just so stressful - no wonder I watch so much reality TV - because it is not REAL........ Thanks for reading - Peace :0